


Saviour of None

by Izzu



Category: BBC Drama, Doctor Who
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-30
Updated: 2012-04-30
Packaged: 2017-11-08 02:13:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/438009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Izzu/pseuds/Izzu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Journey's End-centric. In a way... perhaps he was saving himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Saviour of None

_"The man who makes people better. How sanctimonious is that?"_

The Doctor snorted under his breath. Yet... in a sense, the Master was right. Even if he had saved Earth... the universe... now, before or after this in the future... that notion was just petty self-gratifying. Even if to others, he had saved them all, made them _better_... at what price have he paid in return?

He lost Gallifrey, his family... friends. Many of his companions... and people he met, anyone—in many ways had suffered and faced the consequences by being at his side. This would not change in his future... past or present. There would _always_ be casualties. Always. As much as he saved the world, the universe... there would always be a _catch_ to it. The same as his vow to not take arms... in the end, people who cared about him would do it in his place—so that he would not have to stain his hand. For his sake. Like what Davros had pointed out before.

Where was the righteousness in that? In the end... he could never be able to save everyone. Because even if he tried his best to save... there would always be _someone_ that will be sacrificed.

He looked up towards his other self... and Donna—standing in that corner, smiling with relief at the thought that they managed to evade this current calamity and restored Earth to its rightful place. Even _both of them_ had not been spared, he thought sadly.

While the things _they_ did had been done with good intentions... it did not relieve them of the _sins_ they have done. He stared towards his double. Even if he did not like it, his double had done the only thing that they could have done given the situation. It was the same kind of decision he himself had made with regards to Gallifrey's demise. As well as the Dalek fleet of the past. Because no matter how much he would want to delude himself, no amount of talk could ever convince the Daleks to change their minds over their plans on activating the reality bomb. It was as vain as trying to convince the Sontarans to not wage wars with other creatures.

His double had taken that decision to spare _him_ of the burden for committing genocide on the Daleks _again_. Since he himself had already enough _burdens_ on his hands. His double did that... for _him_.

The Doctor looked down on his right hand—the one that grew anew since _that_ time. Since then, how many lives had been taken by _this_ hand? This _fighting_ hand of his.

This current _him_ had been quite merciless compared to his many past incarnations. Had to admit, he had been quite unforgiving in this _life_. He turned to look again towards his double. He watched quietly as his double and Jack and Mickey chatted lively with each other as if it was not strange to have two Doctors existing alongside them at the same time. His _pure_ and sinless double... now marred with this one act of destruction on _his_ hand.

The Doctor realized what it was that he needed to do. His double _could not_ remain by his side. He might not be able to turn back time and undo the things he had done—to undo the sins—but at least he could be as pure as he would have wished to be. His double may have the same memories as him but those were _just_ memories. _That hand_ had done nothing that he had done with his hands. It was only after _that hand_ had been cut off from him, that the present him—the Doctor who _fights_ —had been born.

He might not be able to erase the many sins he had bore within himself... but he would not allow the same sins to taint his double furthermore. He might not be able to save himself... but perhaps he could save his double. That should be the same as saving _himself_ , right?

The Doctor walked up towards his double before prying him away from Jack's side. "I've something to talk over with you...", he said to his double before casting a suspicious look towards Jack. Said Captain Jack Harkness already started smirking, meaning that his thoughts about what Jack might have deduced from his actions was right on spot. Especially considering he was holding his double's hand tightly at the moment.

"Don't you have any ideas, I'm not like you with all of your _kinky_ thoughts," he said as Jack grinned mischievously.

"Well, I can _at least_ imagine... can't I?" said Jack as the Doctor rolled his eyes at him.

"Something wrong?" Rose suddenly asked before he shrugged it off.

The Doctor turn to face everyone to get their attention before smiling. "Nothing to worry about, I _assure_ you," he said before changing the topic.

"We should land on Earth any time now, so in the mean time... make yourselves home."

With that, the Doctor dragged his double away towards the many rooms inside of the TARDIS...

xxx

The Doctor watched his double stare at the coral on his hand before looking up to him.

"Take it, you might find a use for it,"

His double gave him a look of confusion. "But... you _know_ how long it would take for this to fully grow. I don't have that much time to—"

"Don't give up too soon, there might be a way to speed things up. We might ask _our_ Doctor Donna on what she thinks about this. You might still be able to do some bit of travelling after this."

The double chuckled before looking at him knowingly. "So you're sending me away... eh?"

He shrugged. "What else can I do? Besides... it would be _weird_ for people to see both of us being in one place at the same time. And... I can't possibly keep you inside TARDIS all the time."

His double snorted. "Yet, you used to plan to do the same for Master—to want to keep him here."

He bit his lips. "And we knew how well that turned out to be..." he said, before sighing.

"I won't send you away by yourself. I don't want you to be alone... so you should never allow yourself to be stuck in that kind of situation. Promise me you'll live on to be _happy_."

His double chuckled. If he had not imagined it, his double might have been on the verge of crying right now.

"I should say the same for you. Take care of Donna."

He smiled weakly. Trust his own double to be able to read his thoughts.

"Take care of Rose too..."

xxx

"But you _made_ me!"

The Doctor flinched slightly as he could feel the hurt his double was feeling. Yet the words kept flowing out from his lips as if he had no regrets in saying those harsh words—to give Rose an excuse as to why he was sending her back into this parallel world. To tell Rose that it was _important_ for Rose to remain with his other self. For both of _their sakes_. Donna helped too—bless her—as she asked his double to explain to Rose about his nature. And Rose suddenly called both of them together to ask about that question.

The Doctor could not tell how much hurt he was feeling when he saw Rose kissing his other self. See, even himself was breaking his own heart—yet he knew that such sacrifice was necessary. His double needs to be given a reason to live— _he_ was pretty much him after all. And he _needed_ to save _this_ half of him. And getting his heart broken over and over was not anything new. He also broke his other self's heart... so that was a fair trade.

The Doctor silently gestured to Donna to return towards the TARDIS as they quietly bid their farewells. He let out a relieved sigh as the TARDIS left the parallel universe. _Now that was finally over with_ , he thought before turning towards Donna.

There was still another thing he needed to do...


End file.
